Black Friday Chaos
from Into the Ground: A Novel
Another year, another season of consumerism. Old readers of mine will remember this excerpt. For those unacquainted, this is from my novel, Into the Ground, a coming-of-age literary fiction story that follows P.J., a self-conscious Target cashier, hoping to change careers. This novel is unpublished and open to solicitation.
Enjoy and don’t spend too much $$ today…
***
The day finally came. I woke up around 3 AM and got the fastest shower I could. My body felt like static pulsing through my limbs and organs. I swiped my clothes hanging off the table and crept through the hall. I heard Heather rustling around as the floor creaked outside her bed. I showered swiftly and threw on my uniform and coat. The road was pitch black as I bounded the stairs. Only one streetlight was on, like a ghastly wanderer waiting to take me into the belly of the beast.
The earliest bus was in ten minutes and I jogged as far as my tired lungs could handle. As a movie, my final step was leaping over a pothole and landing within feet of the bus. The driver grimaced, asking why I was rushing. I told him that today is the worst day of the year, wheezing with every word. I sat in the back row for the first time in a long time. I scrolled through a few missed messages from my mom. I didn’t answer any of her four messages. She made a plate for me and was keeping it for me and everything. Then, there was Heather’s wishing me good luck. I replied to it and put the ringer on silent. The day was not meant for phones.
The bus dropped me and about a half dozen stranglers off and the number of aggravated cars honking was absurd. It was a perfect photo op, seeing the swarm of people gathering beneath the basic white text and red bullseye. Like an army ready to invade. I retreated to the employee door. I and a few others stood outside, acknowledging each other in silence. Some were burning through cigs, others gulping coffee or water. Like this was the last time they could enjoy such peace and pleasantries. Allison looked up from her phone and smiled at me.
“Claude is out on bail,” she said.
“Oh, that’s fantastic,” I said. It was loud enough to stir some of the older workers swaddled in coats. One of the older stockers coughed awake.
“He said he’s gonna throw a party for us when he ‘wins the case’,” she said, apprehensive.
“Okay, folks,” one of the Team Leaders from the floor said aloud. “Time for hell!”
We filed through the door, piled my coat into the locker, and clocked in. HR left out fortune cookies and chocolates in a bowl for us to grab as we entered the floor. I broke one open, chomped one half off, and pulled the fortune out. ‘Look towards the light that stays on forever’. I cackled at how shitty that was to me. I was The Lighthouse manager, and this was quite offensive. I said to Allison, “Get a load of this!”, and she shared her fortune with me. ‘Love will squeeze through the bars of uncertainty’. She shuddered at the accuracy.
Out on the floor, it was eerily quiet. I noted Jamie, Kevin, and the two asset protection officers stood guard. Eyes on their watches instead of the rowdy crowd outside. An occasional scream or bang shook poor Jamie. I manned my register, watched the light flicker a couple of times, and remain off. I witnessed all of the other lights turned on as if I was somehow leading this defensive standing. Allison and I were the most experienced on the floor—the generals—until the more tenured cashiers would relieve some of us later.
“Team,” the store owner, Edwin, bellowed from the center of the registers. It was only the second time I saw him in person. He looked like he put on some weight.
“Sixteen people, one goal: check out as many people as humanely possible. With Jamie, Kevin, and others on your side, we will accomplish another successful Black Friday. And to all the floor team members who can hear my voice, know that you are not alone. We shall assist you as well. Now, then, Store T-69, who’s with me?”
A few whoops came from the naïve teenagers. Some sneers as well. I just rolled my eyes. I saw Allison a few registers down. She feigned a middle finger to the boss who was bowing before the clapping softlines team in the aisle.
And with the strike of 4:15, the doors slid open. I saw some hands prying ahead, pulling the first guests back by the shoulders. It was insanity. The crowd cascaded around Kevin’s large body but took down Jamie. She went down hard, screamed at them all to get off. Kevin and the nameless officers formed a human shield around her until the crowd dispersed. Once they dragged her into the Guest Services lobby, her agony hit its peak. I think one of her legs was broken. Kevin called 911, eyes darting around at the mongrels. Some hooded men took some Xbox 360s and TVs from the front displays and ran for the door. The officers locked on like missiles, tackling them. The boxes flew from their arms, followed by a speckling of blood. Edwin turned white at the sight and hustled to the closed café to page people. He looked to be hiding above all else.
I had to prepare for the first wave of crazies as they were Mad Maxing toward the registers. Carts clattering about, expletives flying from loose tongues. The waves of shoppers battered the registers like waves. I tried my best to keep up with things, but the new hires were having so much trouble. Repetitive calls for help on their walkie-talkies. The lines formed tight near the slower ones. One of them straight up quit, threw their New Team Member badge on the ground, and bolted for the door in tears. I watched the badge get trampled over by dirty shoes and boots moments later. I paged the floor for some help, and as if by magic, another red shirt rounded the corner to take over the abandoned post. A small reprieve.
Out of the corner of my eye, a burly man of a guest lugging a TV was yelling at people to move out of his way. He got into a shouting match with someone in the main hallway, so I took notice. His back was to me and his hoody said something ridiculous. ‘If I charge, follow me. If I retreat, kill me. If I die, avenge me.’ Each sentence was in a mix of red, white, and blue. I saw his sculpted back muscles bulge. He turned around again and clobbered into someone’s cart. Another moment of cursing. I had my hand on my walkie-talkie, ready to page for security. Unless, of course, they were too busy arresting the shoplifters. I didn’t have enough time to page, because I soon heard the same boisterous voice pound at my eardrums.
“The fuck, buddy. Are you open or not?” the man said.
“I am, sorry. The light just flickers,” I said, waving him over.
He grunted as he plopped the corner of the box on the belt. I told him it was the wrong side, and I swore he was going to kill me. A bulbous vein in his forehead throbbed and his pupils dilated. I shuddered, awaiting my fate of being clubbed to death by a large television, but it didn’t arrive. He simply turned the rectangle up and around, banging into the shelf in the process. My hand snapped the barcode with the corded scan gun, but the register was malfunctioning. It was double scanning, which if I didn’t already know the override code by heart, would’ve taken much longer. This guest wasn’t one for patience. When I went to clear it, it would produce an error code I’ve never seen before.
“Sir, I apologize, but my register is acting up, can you go to 5?”
“This is ridiculous,” he said. “About to scan it myself for $69. That’ll work, right?”
“I wish, but just go to 5 before it gets filled. I know you’re in a rush.”
He groaned, lifted the box, and it spun around. The edge bumped into my monitor and it started hissing. The chorus of beeps going staccato in my ears as I typed random combos to close it down. The scanner started whirring at immense speeds. The light flickered fast like a strobe light. I lowered myself down to the power cord to yank it free, and as I heard the wailing of an ambulance coming to scoop up Jamie, I also heard an electrical sound. A sizzling that meant nothing good. Then my right arm went completely numb. Then, a scream.
***
I woke up in a hospital with a sling on my arm and a burning in my face. I panicked, seeing the IV and hospital garb, and started hyperventilating. An alert rang out around me and I was flooded with cloudy nurses a few moments later. Nothing scared me more than this, even my father’s drunken gun frenzy. And as crazy as this sounds, I wished for them both to be there with me. To rip the crazy people off my body then throw me onto their shoulders. Maybe add some explosion once we were far enough away. But that wasn’t happening, just a flurry of voices and liquids pumping into my body. I blacked out again.
***